eCAMPAIGN: What YOU Need to Know About Child Abuse!

"When you are insulted, you feel very bad"

Published September 6, 2008 (Arusha Times)

All physical and sexual violence against children results in some psychological harm in the child. However, the cause of psychological harm does not necessarily have to be of a physical or sexual nature. A child can be psychologically harmed by verbal abuse or by the psychological behaviour of another person. In other words: a child who is made to feel like he or she has little value, as a result of the words or behaviour of an adult or a peer, can suffer negative consequences to their development and well-being.

Some children who have experienced psychological abuse from adults agree to these facts. Nasir is one child who can testify about what it feels like to be constantly insulted...

Nasir is 17 years old and has spent several years of his childhood living in different children's centers in Arusha, as well as in the streets. Today he is living independently, sharing housing with two of his friends. As a child who used to live in the streets, Nasir knows physical and psychological abuse as a normal, but difficult, part of life. He says that, "To be beaten is something that often happens in the streets. If one child has stolen something, people start thinking that we are all thieves." Nasir says that the people who abuse the children in the streets, are simply: "those who are older than you".

In addition to physical violence, Nasir says that he has often been exposed to verbal abuse, or as he describes it, "insults". "When you are insulted, you feel very bad", says Nasir. "They see me as if I am not human. They can throw rocks after you, and that hurts alot. The insults, and the bad names they call you, are very bad. The people who do this despise you. They see you as a dog." Nasir also says that the worst kind of insult is "when someone says something insulting about your mother. I have gotten used to it now, but in the beginning it hurt so much."

When Nasir thinks about the effect of verbal abuse, he uses the saying: "If you live with a goat, you will become a goat yourself. If you are insulted, you yourself will learn to insult others. If a child is hurt, he will get used to it. After he gets used to it, he will hurt others." Nasir believes that people one day will stop beating and insulting each other: "People should know about human rights and children's rights. If people would listen, it will end. Listen to children! If a child is beaten and the police could listen to him, they could arrest the person who beat him. Then the abuse could end. People should stop it because it's bad. It hurts so much."

The "World Report on Violence Against Children" says that psychological violence "can take the form of insults, name-calling, ignoring, isolation, rejection, threats, emotional indifference and belittlement." All of these forms of psychological violence can be "detrimental to a child's well-being and development". The cause of psychological violence against children can often, according to the report, be the uncontrolled frustration of the person exercising it. In many cases it might also have a similar purpose as that of corporal punishment; "to cow a child into obedience and retrain his or her unruly behaviour." The report says that "many children find that the pain and anxiety of rejection, and the humiliation of an attack on their self-esteem, is difficult to bear."

We at Mkombozi believe that most children who get satisfactory support and love from adults will grow up as confident, caring and loving people. At the same time, we are concerned about the development and well-being of children who are psychologically abused by others. How many other children have experienced what Nasir has experienced, and what has it done to their self-confidence and development?

Do YOU know a child who has suffered from psychological violence of adults or peers?

How do YOU think children can be protected from insults and name-calling?
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