eCAMPAIGN: What YOU Need to Know About Child Abuse!

"People take personal problems out on children"

Published September 20, 2008 (Arusha Times)

The inner state of parents or caretakers themselves, as well as their ability to function socially and to cope with stress, are often contributing factors to violence against children. If people experience stress, unhappiness or anger as a result of their own situation, relationships or environment - then it is possible this will negatively affect the way they care for their child.

Young Sauda in Arusha talks about the violence she was exposed to by her older sister some years ago. "At home there were six of us, so I went to live in my older sisters home when I was in Standard II (primary school level). She caned me alot. She was very strict - if I made a mistake, she would beat me."

Sauda particularly remembers one day when she was ill and was resting in the house: "My sister sent me to the shop to buy rice. She wanted half a kilo, but I made a mistake and instead bought a quarter kilo. When I came back from the shop I was feeling very ill and went to sleep inside the house. She came and started beating me. Afterwards I ran to my mothers home, and I told her that I didn't want to live with my sister. But my mother just chased me away and I went back to my sisters house."

Sauda recalls another occasion where she was beaten by her sister: "One day my sister was cooking fish. A rat had gone into the kitchen and taken one of the fish, but my sister thought that I had taken it. She took a big wooden board and beat me with it."

When Sauda is asked what it feels like to be beaten, she says; "You have no right to speak and you feel very bad. You really don't get any peace." She tries to think about why her sister beat her so much: "Maybe she did not like me, perhaps she hated me. Sauda sees violence against children in the home as something that is often dependant on the feelings of the parent or caretaker: "It is about anger or problems of people in the family" she says. "People take their personal problems out on their children by beating them."

The World Report on Violence Against Children says that while violence in the home is found in all social and economic spheres, studies from a range of settings show that "low parental education levels, lack of income, and household overcrowding increase the risk of physical and psychological violence against children." It also states that physically violent parents/caretakers are more likely to be young, single and poor - and that these associations are most likely related to stress caused by poverty, unemployment and social isolation. Studies from industrialised as well as developing countries show that the personality and behavioural characteristics of violent parents are related to poor social functioning and diminished capacity to cope with stress. The report says that "parents with poor impulse control, low self-esteem, mental health-problems or substance abuse, are more likely to use physical violence against their children and/or neglect them."

The World Report on Violence Against Children strongly suggests that efforts need to be focused on changing the "underlying conditions that put extreme economic, social and emotional stress on families." It also emphasises the importance of supporting families who live in "communities characterised by high levels of unemployment, overcrowded housing, rapid population turnover and low levels of social cohesion."

We at Mkombozi work with many children who have suffered through violence from their caretakers, and we often see the negative consequences that abuse has in a child. We are concerned about children living in families where parents lack proper social support and coping-mechanisms.

How common do you think it is that children are abused as a result of their caretakers failure to find ways to control their anger or to cope with stress and low self-esteem?

How can parents in difficult situations learn to aviod abusing their children as a result of what they feel inside?
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